Today we’d like to introduce you to Julie Atkinson.
Hi Julie , can you start by introducing yourself? We’d love to learn more about how you got to where you are today?
After teaching middle school for 12 years I thought I was prepared for parenting….how humbled I was! Parenting is the toughest job any of us will have and it can leave us feeling vulnerable and unskilled—a lot!
I remember one of the first moments I realized that parenting was going to be challenging, and I needed help. I had a three year-old and a newborn, and I just wanted to get out the door without the drama that happened EVERY time we tried to leave the house! It felt like the only way was through bribes, threats or yelling. It felt terrible, and not sustainable, and I knew there must be a different way.
I soon discovered Positive Discipline and it was like nothing I’d ever known. PD is not just about parenting, it is about building respectful and meaningful human relationships, something I did not witness in my own childhood. I started by reading the Positive Discipline books and then practicing what I was learning (making plenty of mistakes along the way!) both at home and in my work as a teacher.
After teaching through COVID at a cooperative preschool, where parent education is a primary part of the program’s mission, I decided to focus my career on parent education and started my own business. I love supporting parents in creating their own communities, where they can encourage and support one another and feel more confident in their parenting. It really does take a village!
I also work with teachers who want to bring Positive Discipline into their classrooms. It’s magical to watch what happens when teachers shift their focus from a top-down model to a more collaborative environment with their students focusing on social-emotional health. There is just more room for learning and academics when students feel connected and engaged. I’ve seen teachers with 20 years of experience begin using Positive Discipline and quickly become hooked, realizing that it not only makes their jobs easier, but gives them more tools to address challenging behaviors and strengthen their classroom management skills. I sure wish I got this training as a new middle school teacher!
I began my formal Positive Discipline training in 2015, and I’m reminded every day that I’m always learning, especially with my own 15 and 17 year olds! Since then, I’ve had the honor of teaching parenting workshops, providing professional development for educators, training clinicians and other practitioners, and offering one-on-one coaching to caregivers of children from toddlers through teens.
Today, as a Positive Discipline Trainer, I spend much of my time training and certifying professionals who work with parents and students, including clinicians, social workers, parenting partners, therapists and educators, through two-day, 13 CEU parent educator and classroom certification workshops.
What started with my own realization and desperation that I wanted a different way to parent has grown into a career helping others discover the tools they already have to enjoy connected, respectful and encouraging relationships. I often get dreamy about a world that could live by this model.
I’m sure it wasn’t obstacle-free, but would you say the journey has been fairly smooth so far?
Nope! I basically started with a blank slate. There was not a business model to follow or many others actually doing the same work as I envisioned, which was mostly in-person. I built a website, which was its own hurdle, in hopes people would come, and they didn’t. And, I REALLY did not want to do social media.
So, I began by offering low cost or free workshops and eventually started working with local PTA groups through schools to offer classes for parents. I gave free talks at back to school nights and reached out to preschools to offer introductory talks about Positive Discipline. I loved doing all of that work, but it wasn’t enough to sustain a business. So many times I felt like giving up!
After waiting for people to discover me, and they didn’t, I realized I had to get out there and network. I had to imagine that I had the best product out there, something everyone needed (which is true!), because selling yourself is not easy! I had to start believing in myself and the value of what I could offer. Once I shifted my thinking, things began to happen.
Through networking, cold calling, and just feeling proud of the work I do, I’ve finally reached a point where I am satisfies with my workload. I am trying to keep a balance of paid work and still allow time for low cost or voluntary opportunities where I am able to plant the seed of Positive Discipline. These days most of my work comes from referrals so I don’t do a lot of advertising.
I also receive so much positive reinforcement. Every time I facilitate a workshop or work with a client, I hear that they feel more encouraged, inspired, and have added new tools to their tool belt. One of the things I love most about Positive Discipline is how interactive it is. Rather than lecturing, giving another dull slide show presentation, or giving advice, I guide people through activities and experiences that allow them to discover the tools for themselves.
Looking back, of course, I could have done things differently. I am still learning, but I think we have to go through some of the aches and pains to grow and figure out what we want. And, I’m still figuring it out as business and life are constantly evolving. As Jane Nelson, the author of Positive Discipline says, “Mistakes are opportunities to learn.” Haha…easier said than done!
As you know, we’re big fans of you and your work. For our readers who might not be as familiar what can you tell them about what you do?
First, I want people to know that Positive Discipline is not gentle parenting. It is a research-based, trauma-informed approach rooted in the work of Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs. It teaches children important social and life skills while creating respectful, encouraging relationships between children and the adults who care for them.
My workshop evaluations often mention my warmth, encouragement, and modeling of the Positive Discipline tools. There is a lot of laughter, many “aha” moments, and a real sense of connection and support with the way I set up the space. I don’t believe people need another lecture, book, or someone telling them what to do. Attending a workshop or receiving coaching where you get into the shoes of the child is where you can really experience a different way to connect and where the learning and movement happen.
One of the most rewarding parts of this work is seeing its ripple effect. When a parent gains confidence and learns a new way to develop a strong family connection, that can change the family patterns for generations. When a teacher changes the way they approach challenging behaviors and invites a collaborative approach, it can transform a classroom and create an environment of belonging, connection. and a decrease in behavior challenges. And, when professionals take these tools to hundreds of families, I can imagine the ripple effect within the family. My hope is that with each life touched that it spreads to many others.
I am most proud that I kept going! Many times I considered going back to the classroom where things felt more predictable, but I knew in my heart this was the work I felt most passionate about. I’ve also been able to model resilience for my children. They are old enough to have watched the highs and lows of my journey, and we’ve talked openly about both. They really have been my biggest inspiration and the ones that keep me learning and growing everyday!
If we knew you growing up, how would we have described you?
This feels a bit complicated. I grew up in a home with substance use and abuse so looking back I think much of my years up to high school, when my parents finally split, were frankly survival.
I now understand that school was most likely difficult for me in part because it was a place of respite from the stormy home life. It was a place where I didn’t have to be on high alert, but I also remember carrying a constant sense of overwhelm and distraction. I was so quiet that they asked my mom if I could talk.
Luckily, I was in a safe neighborhood with many caring adults around, and I found myself outside in the neighborhood playing and riding my bike until the sun went down.
By the time I got to high school I found my belonging and identity in athletics, where I turned out to be a decent runner and started my freshman year on the varsity track team. Of course I didn’t know it at the time, but they were Positive Discipline Coaches. They were respectful, firm, encouraging and motivating in a way that I wanted to better myself. When I made a mistake and missed a relay handoff or had a disappointing race they helped me reflect, learn, and try again without shame or blame. I really credit my coaches and teammates for playing a huge role in my positive high school experience.
Once my mom got out of the harmful relationship with my dad she was able to blossom herself and provide love, encouragement and a good life for my sister and I.
I was the first in my family to attend college, and I finally began to believe in myself. Looking back, I can see how those childhood experiences shaped so much of who I am today, including my work with children, adolescents, and families, as well as my love of the outdoors, staying active, and being resilient.
Pricing:
- This can all be found on my webpage
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.julieatkinsoncoaching.com
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JulieAtkinsonPositiveDiscipline/
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/julie-atkinson-positive-discipline
- Other: julie@julieatkinsoncoaching.com
